Great Times

Over the last several months I have felt the Lord move in me great mountains. Thank the Lord for continuing to show me the way He would have me go. Sometimes we all get off track, but when we seek Him and continue to seek Him, He will bring us back to the right track that He wanted us on all along. I feel like that is what has happened in my life. I got off track, didn't stay on the track that He wanted me on, and now He has lifted me up, taken me back to the spot where I veered to the right, and put me back on the straight and narrow path. He is lighting my way down this path very distinctly. He has brought Katie and Micah into my life, showing me clear direction for our relationship, and I am so excited about what He is doing.

This last weekend I went to IL to visit Katie and the fam. I left IN Friday evening arriving in IL at 11:10 PM IL time (that's 12:10 IN time!). We had a great time Saturday doing a little garage saling, shopping and hangin' with the fam. One of two highlights for me was spending time singing and praising the Lord at the house. The piano, yeah, I bit out of tune, but the time singing was great! :0) We then went to CPC to have a Youth outing at Katie's church...I had blast getting to help Katie! We were able to spend time together working through our Devotions for Couples book, and praying together that evening and then I left to come back to IN Sunday AM really early. I had to be back in time to lead worship at our 11AM service.

As I drove back, I snapped a few pics of the sunrise on my cell phone. (I'll post them on my facebook, so check that out for the pics.) Again this week, the Lord kept me safe driving there and back. He kept me alert, didn't let me get sleepy, and I was able to drive straight through in less than 4 hours from Katie's house to the church. :) I spent those hours mostly in prayer and listening/singing praise & worship. The Lord brought people to mind that I needed to pray for, and one of those was our senior pastor and his family. I found out after I had been praying that his daughter had been involved in a car accident Saturday night and he was dealing with that while at the same time working on preparing for service. Gary was struggling to get focus, I spoke with him and continued to pray.

Praise the Lord for that time of prayer and worship on the drive back. His majestic beauty was evident as I drove seeing the sunrise, and He brought people to me that I should pray for. It was great, and just a beginning to my day.

I'll stop my rambling, but only after saying this...I cannot wait to have Katie here, and not be so far away from each other...however again I say "In God's Time" it will happen. :)

Blessings!
Mark

New Life Swells Up! :)

New life is breathing inside of me. The Lord has been vibrantly showing me direction for my life, and He has brought Katie into my life. We've been dating now since July and it has been the most amazing time! I am praising the Lord for her, her son Micah and our relationship...He is bringing us together in ways that neither one of us have ever been. :) The boys are getting along fine...some sibling rivalry, but they are doing well. Keith has taken to Katie and so has Ray! He has prayed multiple times in the last week that he get to see "daddy's Katie" and "her micah" sometime soon. I love that kid! :)

New life is breathing inside of me thanks be to the Lord! :) He has given me new direction, and zeal for Him. Thanks be to the Lord! :)

Katie is just 8 days older than me...and I turn 30 on Saturday! :) She's amazing! She loves the Lord and her family. She is willing to help, and support me and others in whatever way needed to serve the Lord. :) I love her very very very very much, and know that in God's timing we'll be together forever! :) Keep praying for us! Thanks!

Blessings!

Mark

Some old...some new... :)

So I'm back at school....that's old.
I'm officially divorced...that's old.
I've got full custody of my beautiful boys...that's new no matter what! :)
I'm dating someone...that's kinda new. :) read more if you want to know more...
I'm using Twitter now...kinda new...

The boys are adjusting to the new schedule, and I'm working hard to give them a consistent schedule. It may not get followed at mommy's house, but that is only every other weekend and 4 hours a week.

I've reconnected with a very close friend from my ICC & IYC days (Indianapolis Childrens' Choir and Youth Chorale)...Katie is awesome! I praise the Lord for putting her in my life. I know that in God's timing things happen, and God is in control...We (Katie & I) are putting things in His hands...we know that if we are to get married God will make it happen...We're excited, in love, and Praising the Lord together for what He has done in our lives... Katie is a youth pastor in IL and has a wonderful little boy who is 5. Micah and I have hit it off, just like Katie and my boys have already hit it off. Praise the Lord for the things He has done! Please continue to pray for us. Thanks!

Blessings to you all!
Mark

Kids these days...

First of all you should know that our school does not allow cell phones to be on during school time, which includes detention. Secondly, as I start detention each day I remind them to keep their cell phones off and put away. Third, (and you'll need this one last) students are to work on school related work and there is to be no sleeping during detention.

So I'm sitting in detention with students who didn't do what they were supposed to do at school and I have a student start texting while he is in detention. I wait, and observe him doing this for a while to be sure he really thinks he is getting away with it, I mean it was only 20-25 minutes into the detention of which he had a 2 hour detention.

So, when I go to take his phone, he of course denies he had it out, then when I take it he asks if he can have it back at the end of detention. I decided that I would contact our deans' office since they were still here. They tell me that if mom doesn't come get it that it stays here at school and they are waiting on mom to call them back. Mommy calls and says what any good mother should have "Keep the phone and I'll come by tomorrow sometime and get it!" :) YEAH MOM! It was his second offense having his cell phone taken this year, so he is looking at 1 day In-School Suspension and he'll loose the privilege of even bringing the phone to school.

THEN, when you think it all couldn't get better...I have a student tell me that he doesn't have anything else to do and he is going to sleep the remainder of the time, almost an hour of his 2 hour detention! I had already woke him up 1 time to warn him about sleeping. The second time I woke him he said go ahead and write his name down for sleeping.

Wow, I don't understand why kids think they can get away with these things. Is there no discipline at home or WHAT? I'm open for discussion on this one!

Tired...

This week has been one that would wear out anyone, that's for sure. Between finally getting my boy back, going to court Tuesday, finding out we have no agreement on file and to have NO agreement filed that day(ARG!!), getting yelled at on the phone, and a WHOLE LOT MORE I've gotten tired this week. I got to finish out my week (Thurs & Fri) reading the state of Indiana's "End of Course Assessment for Biology I" 5-7 times both days! Let me just say, "Oh the Joys!". I'm kinda glad I could do that because it did keep me a little busy, but I really missed being in the classroom.

I have really enjoyed working with Kelli, and look forward to next year (and ending this year!). Thanks for being a great friend and a great boss. Happy Mother's Day all and Happy Birthday (a little early) to Aiden! :)

Blessings,
Mark

Wild Ride!

Well, let's just say that since getting all lawyered up it's been interesting. We had our preliminary court case this week and until we have our final court hearing in July the agreement that my wife and I had for the kids will remain, and has been approved by the court as an official agreement. Praise the Lord that things have gone so well for the kids. They still see mom, and spend plenty of time with me too. :)

I am doing well, and continue to improve my eating/sleeping habits. :) It's been a ride that I would never wish on my worst enemy thus far, but there are days when things seem to be going uphill rather than down it spiralling out of control. Keep praying, I know I am. There have been several songs that the Lord has spoken to me through in the last few weeks. You can google them if you'd like, but I've tried to put some links here for you.

The first is by Matthew West called "The Motions". I heard this the very first Sunday after we split. God really spoke to me through the song saying hold tight and fast, don't go through the motions as you go through this, let My all consuming passion truly consume you and I will guide you through this. In the video that Matthew West released, and is linked here, you see at the beginning a bit of the story behind the song for Matthew West. He had a potentially career ending vocal surgery, but had to rely on God fully to bring him through the surgery. Can you see where this song would speak to me. Check it out and let me know what the Lord says to you.

The second song that I'll share today is by Unhindered called "Father Will You Come". I took the youth group to Acquire the Fire (ATF) in Indianapolis and Unhindered led worship with this song multiple times during the event. My youth fell in love with the words to this song and asked if we could do it the next day at church. So, being the overachiever I am sometimes (LOL!), I went home Saturday night after ATF and found it, printed it, and learned how to sing and play it at the same time first thing Sunday AM when I got to church. We just did the chorus and bridge that Sunday, but then the next Sunday we did the whole thing. Check it out...the Lord really has spoken to me through it as well, let me know what the Lord says to you through it.

Well perhaps you see that I'm not talking much about what is going on behind the scenes...that's because at this point in time I have, I think, let go and let God, and I'm doing much better...of course until the next time that I take it back from Him and try to handle it on my own. Each time I do that, the song "Father Will You Come" comes ringing through my ears...Thank you Lord for your all consuming passion and continued presence in everything in my life.

Blessings to you all and keep praying! :)
Mark

Lawyered up...

So I'm officially lawyered up.  I met with my lawyer and paid him his retainer fee on Friday after talking 2 times to him on the phone during the week.  He gave me some very good advice and things were going okay until Sunday.  Sunday afternoon I got a call from my wife.  She wanted me to come up to the house right then and get my things and only then would I be allowed to have the boys back.  I told her I didn't want the boys to see the fact that I was getting my things, but that is not what I wanted to do at all.  Basically that is all I was given for options and then was told she would NOT be meeting me at the VP at 4:00 as was scheduled and agreed upon.  

I ended up going to the house, with parents (mine and hers!) and getting some of my things and the boys.  I talked with my lawyer today and well...I have the boys.  Who knows what may happen between now and Tuesday (next week) when we have the hearing.  Hey boss..I'm gonna have to take at least the AM off Tuesday, if not the whole day, not sure yet.  Hearing is at 9:00AM, sorry, my lawyer WAS going to change the hearing date, but after this weekend, he has decided to try to have it that day so that it is handled sooner since my wife is no longer wanting to do things the civil way.  

Keep praying! 

Mark

Short Update

Just a quick note... I am talking with my lawyer tomorrow morning. I was supposed to be served papers this week, but I think her lawyer didn't do what she said she would do, OR my wife was just blowing smoke to see what I would say/do. I haven't really done anything...I now have my own phone contract with Verizon so that it cannot be shut off again...was on Monday, ARG! I will be talking with my lawyer about filing first thing Monday if she hasn't filed yet so that my lawyer and I can pick the judge, so I've heard that is the case.

Going to dinner tonight with my boys, my folks and the wife's folks. They want to see us, and the kids. :) It will be wonderful, and I'm praying that dinner goes well with me being able to eat.

It's been an up and down week for appetite, but not too bad. Just keep praying that it goes well.

Thanks for the prayers!
Blessings,
Mark

Prayer for Tonight

Pray tonight...we're going to go to dinner tonight as a 'family' just my wife, the boys and I for Keith's 1 year birthday that is today...pray that I'm able to eat and things go well tonight.

Ray told my mom last night that the reason that we are living at my parent's house is because "mommy wants to be with "W" not daddy and "W" wants to be with mommy". I don't know if Ray came up with this on his own or if this was something that mommy told him...my wife and I had talked about not telling Ray anything for a while...trying to keep him innocent...but hey who knows why he said what he said, but he certainly has it figured out now. My heart broke last night when my mom told me that...

Thanks for the prayers and support.
Blessings,
Mark

Update...

So I've decided that since I never really told a lot of people about my blog I'm probably pretty safe on here. I have a stat counter that shows me where people are looking at the blog from, and at this point, no one has, outside of the Indy area and a few outside of the state are reading/checking on the blog (people I know who follow this blog). I think I'm safe for now, I'll need some help on the preferences thing K, to change it so that people cannot search and find me, but other than that, I think I'm safe.

I need an outlet and this will be a small part of my outlet. I'll be careful what I say because I know that it can be used against me in court since it is in writing....but here is where I'll share my thoughts...I accept thoughts back, just know that I will follow what I feel the Lord telling me to do, not necessarily what you tell me to do. I have to do what I feel in my heart/mind is right in the Lord's eyes for my life, and that may not always jell with what you think. I respect each one of you and your opinions and look forward to hearing your thoughts/opinions on different things I post.

Please continue to pray for me to do and say what I should when I should with my wife. I've done OK so far, and know that the Lord has been with me each time. I would love to say that we're going to get back together, but at this time, I'm not sure what will happen. I know the Lord does, and I'm just going to have let Him take this one...He knows what needs to happen. I'm praying that He prompt me in the directions I should go. I'm considering finding a good lawyer, and believe I have someone in mind, but if you know of someone let me know. I want to be sure my boys are safe and secure for the rest of their lives.

My appetite is starting to get better, I think! :) Today I ate a Tenderloin, all but 1 SMALL bite, and didn't feel sick!! I'm doing better during the day with my moods, at least I think I am, and nights are getting better. I am starting to sleep a little better. The Lord is showing me more and more that this anxiety is stuff that I need to "let go and let God" on! I'm working on it, but it's a lot easier said than done.

Thanks for the prayers and support! I know that this has been a REALLY long blog...thanks for reading it all. :)

Blessings,
Mark

Name change...

You might notice I changed the title to the page...I am not sure if it will help, but I wanted to change it so that perhaps others who I don't want to find this will not find it. Any ideas on good tracking system to see who is reading this?

Thanks,
Mark

OK....

So the last 2 days have been some of the worst 2 days since my wife and I split. I hate seeing my 4 year old get upset because he is going to see mommy...he doesn't want to go, and yet I tell him "you're gonna have lots of fun with mommy! You get to see mommy and spend the night at the house." He says "but daddy, I want to stay here with you and mema and papaw." It just breaks my heart. I reassure him that we'll be here when he gets back and he will have fun with mommy, but he still resists for a while. He gets in the truck with mommy and turns on his brave face, I see it, I'm not sure that my wife does, but I do. Pray for him, and also please pray for my appetite to return...I know that the Lord is with me on this. In HIS timing...not mine.

Thanks,
Mark

Prayer...

So my last post was about a roller coaster...well I think it is about to fall off the tracks and there is nothing I can do to save it but pray....so please pray with me. 

Thanks, 

Mark

Roller Coaster

I hate roller coasters. I hate not having control, which is why I hate them. I also don't think it is natural to have your feet go over your head and your body flying through the air like that, but still I've riden a few just to see what they're all about.

I liken my wife and I's relationship to a roller coaster in a slightly different way though...more of a peak/valley kind of way. Right now, I feel like I'm on this roller coaster and I'm upside down in the valley of the roller coaster. I know that the Lord is with me, and that He will see us through this, but at the same time I'm in panic city because I don't like being upside down and that close to the ground and not in control. Right now, control is in my wife's and God's hands. My wife's because she can choose to love me and forgive me for not being there when I should have been, or not. God's because I've given it over to him, I keep trying to take it back, but I'm trying to keep it in His hands because I know that in His hands it is the safest.

I love my wife with all my heart, and I don't want to loose her. I know that we will make it through because we have God on our side. I am praying that the Lord continue to mold me into being a Godly husband. Please continue to pray. Thanks.

Mark

Alrighty then...

So I posted yesterday about a personal matter. Today I post to say, I'm succeeding in my endeavor to lessen my work load at church. Last night I went online and downloaded/installed ProPresenter. This program ROCKS! It is going to make my life MUCH easier in the end, and I am looking forward to showing one of my SLT members how to use it, so that she can prepare and run it for worship. :)



I have also decided that the SLT (Student Leadership Team) will be taking on the task of deciding what needs to be talked about each month at their meetings. I will give them SOME materials to talk about, but they will come up with the rest. They will run the meeting, I'm going to try to take a back seat and just be an advisor.



Please continue to pray, but know that the Lord is with us, and continues to show his love and mercy to us daily. Thanks!

Blessings,
Mark

Back in the Saddle again...

Praise the Lord for the good things He has done. And Praise the Lord for having my boss back! :) I know her return has been bitter sweet for her since she has to leave her BEAUTIFUL little boy at home, but I know I am glad she is back. My stress level has reduced. :)

On a VERY Personal note, please pray for me and my family. I have allowed my work at school and church to take control over my life far too often and I need to work to not work at home so often. No we are not that bad off, but this is a warning sign for all involved in ministry, including myself. Remember what the Lord has given you, and take care of your wife and family 1st. He will take care of the rest (others) and you will have time to do that when it is in HIS time. I have been taking care of my family, but not speaking the correct Love Language for a while. I need to be sure that I re-learn to speak the Love Languange of my wife, I knew it once and I know it still. I just need to be sure to speak it out loud and take time to do so. I have taken for granted too long that she will be there and I need to be sure to protect our relationship from further damage and repair what has been damaged from past hurts. Time will heal our relationship, and I know that the Lord will be there with us helping each of us heal.

Thank you for your prayers.
Blessings,
Mark

Yippee! - Warning Ranting a bit...

Well, kinda. I took a day off yesterday to get some extra rest. I did not go to bed until almost 4AM, so I decided to take the day off. I got up around 9 and actually left the house! It felt really good to get some things done even if I was still VERY sleep deprived.

I get back to school today and things had kinda fallen apart with a couple students while I was out. I enjoyed the day yesterday, but wished all the while that I was at school because I was worried of something just like this happening. One student went awall and another decided that they were not going to go to class "just because". Co-workers and I try to handle it today, but I still felt a bit wrong... ARG! I'm glad I'm back today. I'll stop ranting now...Sure can't wait until my boss gets back! LOL! :)

Have a great evening!
Blessings,
Mark

Students...

So I had a student, we'll just call her sparks-a-little ask me a VERY odd question today. She wondered if the men's room had the same "sanitary napkin" trash can next to the toilet in each of the stalls. It was an honest question, but I guess I just thought that it was a question that really didn't need ANY answer. I asked her for what she thought guys would use them and her response, "I don't know, I just thought maybe you guys would throw trash away from your pockets while your sitting down or something. I do that even when I don't need to use them for the 'normal' reasons." LOL! She starting laughing, I laughed, I cried... then she asked what was in place of the sanitary napkin dispenser in the boy's bathroom...

WOW, what a conversation. I kinda wish I was not around for it! sparks-a-little is great for comedy when you need it! :)